Wish he will be fine..

At 4a.m Sunday morning..I can't really sleep and I've got a call..It's unknown number..I answered it and it's Meng who is calling me...I'm so excited and nervous because for long time already he didn't call me..

Well, we talk as like usual and I'm the one who talk the most time but,he's just silent there...I felt there's something wrong with him but I keep pretending like nothing.I'm trying to make him happy. I was crapping , talking a lot of rubbish topic, make funny things out..BUT,he has no respond..

Finally, he asked me why I don't ask him what's happening..And he said that he feel that he has some feeling that he can't really match with his girlfriend..

I'm his ex-girlfriend, what can I do?? I try to talk some thing to make him be confidence what he has choose..Because sometimes is that person moody and you found that's not match with you right?

I already told myself that I should let him go..May be this is not the right time for me and him be couple..If this time can't be couple,may be next time.If next time still no chance then waiting for next life..


He didn't tell me what not match between him and his girlfriend,but..I do really wish he's happy and do not let this thing make him sad and effect his studies..After I heard he told me that and he do really sound sad,for that whole night..I can't sleep well...I keep thinking of him...I can't see he's not happy..[It shows that I still miss him and love him..I STILL CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT]

Meng, If got anything happy,sad,angry,unsatisfied,you can tell me all..You can share with me..
Although I'm your ex-girlfriend, but I still need to wish you happy with her one..Because I really can't see you sad and upset..

Meng, don't be sad ok? I'll always be your side and always support you one...Find me,talk to me anytime as you like and when you need..I'll be your listener...Don't worry so much Meng..Everything will be fine...

Sincere to wish you..Be Happy..


-ZhEn-

Sad..Heart pain...

Yesterday night, I was online and chatting with some of my friends in msn(Meng as well).
I saw his display picture is a female picture and I start feel a little sad..
Then,I asked his whether is his girlfriend or not..He answered...YES..

At the moment..I just seem like fall down from 100 story's building..My heart suddenly feels has something thorn into my heart...VERY PAIN...I can't sleep for the whole night...

But I still wish him, I want him happy only..Now, he has girlfriend already,I wish that girl really can make him happy and try to take care of him..Because,they have no distance problem ma...

I do really sad,i feel hopeless and helpless..but...i wish time can prove everything..

Meng, allow me to say this again : I DO REALLY LOVE U AND MISS U!!

^^

Today, I've been to my high school because I have some documents need signature from principle.

Once I walk in to office..walao...those teacher who knows me all calling me and i call them as well...hmm..how wonderful is that?

I saw some of my ex teacher look ok,but some look worse...hmmm...some do really older...but anyway..I do really feel happy because i can meet them back...hehe..happy lo

NEXT LIFE!!!

Last night..I asked you(Meng): when you're coming back to Malaysia?

MENG answered: NEXT LIFE!!!


How mad am i u know..I ask u nicely u answered me like shit there..

really angry la..if u really like back on next life,just back la..ask u nicely u answered like what...

Useless..

Last Sunday, my best friend(Ling) came to my hostel..she stayed with me for a night..That afternoon..I missed Meng so much, and Ling was chatting online..I want lye on sofa watching movie..Suddenly..Ling received a call who spoke Cantonese with her..I suddenly feel that's something different..I can fee there was a special feeling is coming to me..After few minutes, she told me that that's Meng..and I suddenly feel so nervous , I dont know why...

She past the phone to me and I as usual say hello to Meng.. I had been stop for kinda long time and only say hello to him..I dont know hwy..after say hello,and he answered..And I don't know what to say any more..I was stuck...And I past back the phone to Ling..

I knew I've got a lot of thing want to talk to him but....once he calls, my brain is totally blank...I really feel that I'm useless lo.. I knew that we already separated.. I know there is no more chance for me any more..but..what I wish is i dont want to loose a friend.. Although we can;t be couple,but...What about friend???

I don't know...I really dont know...

Every time, when I say hello to him on msn..the way he reply also like....hmmm...I really dont know...I feel that..he doesn't want to chat with me..It seems like have a wall separated us..

I do really want to talk to him like last time..like friend..but..haih..I don't know...I start don't know myself right now..Am I that horrible? Am I that terrible? Am I that..

I REALLY DON"T KNOW


Should I stop talking to him? Should I forget about him? I've tried...BUT..Is not easy..The more I ignore,the more I miss him..the more i love him..damn!!!!!

I'm such a FOOL!!


I DO HONEST TO TELL YOU: 'MENG, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE HOW I TALK,JOKE,CRAZY WITH MY FRIEND...I DON'T WANT THE FEELING LIKE ENEMY...' ( I wish you can read this)




Anyway,I still treat you as my friend .and I wish we do really back to past...I meant..how happy we were...*happy ever*

Happy Birthday

Today,7th June..Is Meng's birthday...I can't wish too much..What I wish is wish he's happy always, and good luck for everything..

Meng..must take care ok?(tiamo)

please..Do that favor for me

Hmm..This few weeks..I'm not feeling well..and I went to see doctor...After took many kind of body check..I found that..hmmm..Then,,Now..I have to go see doctor every 1 week..and get check..Hmm..why...Why me...Really suffer one lo..Now is finals..and..I got this kind of sickness..I really don't know how la..I see doctor also use a lot money..every time ask from parents I will feel guilty.. But..If I don't ask money from them, I have no money see doctor..

I really really tired and nothing to say now..What I can do is..always concentrate my studies, always appreciate what I have got now..Especially Meng..I wish he happy always in Australia, enjoy his life there..

But, I do really wish can see him..For 1 minute is more than enough for me..Must take care ok?

Please..Do that favor for me..I don't want anything happen to you..