Useless..

Last Sunday, my best friend(Ling) came to my hostel..she stayed with me for a night..That afternoon..I missed Meng so much, and Ling was chatting online..I want lye on sofa watching movie..Suddenly..Ling received a call who spoke Cantonese with her..I suddenly feel that's something different..I can fee there was a special feeling is coming to me..After few minutes, she told me that that's Meng..and I suddenly feel so nervous , I dont know why...

She past the phone to me and I as usual say hello to Meng.. I had been stop for kinda long time and only say hello to him..I dont know hwy..after say hello,and he answered..And I don't know what to say any more..I was stuck...And I past back the phone to Ling..

I knew I've got a lot of thing want to talk to him but....once he calls, my brain is totally blank...I really feel that I'm useless lo.. I knew that we already separated.. I know there is no more chance for me any more..but..what I wish is i dont want to loose a friend.. Although we can;t be couple,but...What about friend???

I don't know...I really dont know...

Every time, when I say hello to him on msn..the way he reply also like....hmmm...I really dont know...I feel that..he doesn't want to chat with me..It seems like have a wall separated us..

I do really want to talk to him like last time..like friend..but..haih..I don't know...I start don't know myself right now..Am I that horrible? Am I that terrible? Am I that..

I REALLY DON"T KNOW


Should I stop talking to him? Should I forget about him? I've tried...BUT..Is not easy..The more I ignore,the more I miss him..the more i love him..damn!!!!!

I'm such a FOOL!!


I DO HONEST TO TELL YOU: 'MENG, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE HOW I TALK,JOKE,CRAZY WITH MY FRIEND...I DON'T WANT THE FEELING LIKE ENEMY...' ( I wish you can read this)




Anyway,I still treat you as my friend .and I wish we do really back to past...I meant..how happy we were...*happy ever*