Wish he will be fine..

At 4a.m Sunday morning..I can't really sleep and I've got a call..It's unknown number..I answered it and it's Meng who is calling me...I'm so excited and nervous because for long time already he didn't call me..

Well, we talk as like usual and I'm the one who talk the most time but,he's just silent there...I felt there's something wrong with him but I keep pretending like nothing.I'm trying to make him happy. I was crapping , talking a lot of rubbish topic, make funny things out..BUT,he has no respond..

Finally, he asked me why I don't ask him what's happening..And he said that he feel that he has some feeling that he can't really match with his girlfriend..

I'm his ex-girlfriend, what can I do?? I try to talk some thing to make him be confidence what he has choose..Because sometimes is that person moody and you found that's not match with you right?

I already told myself that I should let him go..May be this is not the right time for me and him be couple..If this time can't be couple,may be next time.If next time still no chance then waiting for next life..


He didn't tell me what not match between him and his girlfriend,but..I do really wish he's happy and do not let this thing make him sad and effect his studies..After I heard he told me that and he do really sound sad,for that whole night..I can't sleep well...I keep thinking of him...I can't see he's not happy..[It shows that I still miss him and love him..I STILL CARE ABOUT HIM A LOT]

Meng, If got anything happy,sad,angry,unsatisfied,you can tell me all..You can share with me..
Although I'm your ex-girlfriend, but I still need to wish you happy with her one..Because I really can't see you sad and upset..

Meng, don't be sad ok? I'll always be your side and always support you one...Find me,talk to me anytime as you like and when you need..I'll be your listener...Don't worry so much Meng..Everything will be fine...

Sincere to wish you..Be Happy..


-ZhEn-

Sad..Heart pain...

Yesterday night, I was online and chatting with some of my friends in msn(Meng as well).
I saw his display picture is a female picture and I start feel a little sad..
Then,I asked his whether is his girlfriend or not..He answered...YES..

At the moment..I just seem like fall down from 100 story's building..My heart suddenly feels has something thorn into my heart...VERY PAIN...I can't sleep for the whole night...

But I still wish him, I want him happy only..Now, he has girlfriend already,I wish that girl really can make him happy and try to take care of him..Because,they have no distance problem ma...

I do really sad,i feel hopeless and helpless..but...i wish time can prove everything..

Meng, allow me to say this again : I DO REALLY LOVE U AND MISS U!!

^^

Today, I've been to my high school because I have some documents need signature from principle.

Once I walk in to office..walao...those teacher who knows me all calling me and i call them as well...hmm..how wonderful is that?

I saw some of my ex teacher look ok,but some look worse...hmmm...some do really older...but anyway..I do really feel happy because i can meet them back...hehe..happy lo

NEXT LIFE!!!

Last night..I asked you(Meng): when you're coming back to Malaysia?

MENG answered: NEXT LIFE!!!


How mad am i u know..I ask u nicely u answered me like shit there..

really angry la..if u really like back on next life,just back la..ask u nicely u answered like what...

Useless..

Last Sunday, my best friend(Ling) came to my hostel..she stayed with me for a night..That afternoon..I missed Meng so much, and Ling was chatting online..I want lye on sofa watching movie..Suddenly..Ling received a call who spoke Cantonese with her..I suddenly feel that's something different..I can fee there was a special feeling is coming to me..After few minutes, she told me that that's Meng..and I suddenly feel so nervous , I dont know why...

She past the phone to me and I as usual say hello to Meng.. I had been stop for kinda long time and only say hello to him..I dont know hwy..after say hello,and he answered..And I don't know what to say any more..I was stuck...And I past back the phone to Ling..

I knew I've got a lot of thing want to talk to him but....once he calls, my brain is totally blank...I really feel that I'm useless lo.. I knew that we already separated.. I know there is no more chance for me any more..but..what I wish is i dont want to loose a friend.. Although we can;t be couple,but...What about friend???

I don't know...I really dont know...

Every time, when I say hello to him on msn..the way he reply also like....hmmm...I really dont know...I feel that..he doesn't want to chat with me..It seems like have a wall separated us..

I do really want to talk to him like last time..like friend..but..haih..I don't know...I start don't know myself right now..Am I that horrible? Am I that terrible? Am I that..

I REALLY DON"T KNOW


Should I stop talking to him? Should I forget about him? I've tried...BUT..Is not easy..The more I ignore,the more I miss him..the more i love him..damn!!!!!

I'm such a FOOL!!


I DO HONEST TO TELL YOU: 'MENG, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU, I DO REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE HOW I TALK,JOKE,CRAZY WITH MY FRIEND...I DON'T WANT THE FEELING LIKE ENEMY...' ( I wish you can read this)




Anyway,I still treat you as my friend .and I wish we do really back to past...I meant..how happy we were...*happy ever*

Happy Birthday

Today,7th June..Is Meng's birthday...I can't wish too much..What I wish is wish he's happy always, and good luck for everything..

Meng..must take care ok?(tiamo)

please..Do that favor for me

Hmm..This few weeks..I'm not feeling well..and I went to see doctor...After took many kind of body check..I found that..hmmm..Then,,Now..I have to go see doctor every 1 week..and get check..Hmm..why...Why me...Really suffer one lo..Now is finals..and..I got this kind of sickness..I really don't know how la..I see doctor also use a lot money..every time ask from parents I will feel guilty.. But..If I don't ask money from them, I have no money see doctor..

I really really tired and nothing to say now..What I can do is..always concentrate my studies, always appreciate what I have got now..Especially Meng..I wish he happy always in Australia, enjoy his life there..

But, I do really wish can see him..For 1 minute is more than enough for me..Must take care ok?

Please..Do that favor for me..I don't want anything happen to you..

cool~~

today..actually we're having exam..But...canceled...and i back to hostel and did a test : are you in love? after i have done the quest..the result totally 100% same like my situation :

You have a crush on someone! Crushing is a bit different than love, but it feels like almost the same thing. You think of that special person constantly, and your heart is full of hope and anticipation. Good luck to you!


....I got shock..any way..My feeling still with him...Meng...Although we are separated for1 year plus..but..I clearly understand that I do really love him..I still..

I'm Happy although I'm sick

Hmm..why the internet in my hostel are s suck? I can't stand anymore and i took out my 1st ex-bf(Meng) gift me the 3G phone and play for nothing because the phone had problem since last year.I already spent about RM400 to repaired the phone but,that day i took from my Korea friend,The phone still doesn't work..I really up set.

BUT, Today, I were mad with my internet and i took the phone out and play..I try to change the network setting because my Korea friend said that in Korea the phone after repaired it is working..So,,I try to change some network setting..FINALLY!!!! the phone back from my hand!!

GOSH!!! I were so happy although I'm sick here..Now..I keep using the phone already...I want bring it to every where any place..It seems like I'm bring Meng with me ...^^

This is the phone he gift...really happy o~~~^^ haha XD

Hey Malaysian,,,Let's Cheer ^^

http://www.malaysianartistesforunity.info

They are...B...H

As usual, I back from campus, once I opened the door...walao..Bitches voices around the house...I know is a very rude way to discrib them but..the only word I can discrib them is that word...They are my house mates..What about now..I'm the hottest, I'm the cutest..eww~~~Vomit!!!!!Gross...If you are hot,don't ever wear tudung and don't even wear long slip...wear mini skirt and show your boobs...

They really never thinking about others feeling..Why they don't put themselves into the situation?? Do they have brains??NO I guess...I do my assignments everyday and do revision every day, Can't they see?? Do they have eyes?? NO...They seems like FLIES...No eyes..NO brains..what they have is just only bitchy voice...eww~~~

Really can't stand man...I don't want ask them shut their freaking mouth is because we are adult, and they are educated..If people who is educated naturely will respect and always understand people's feeling and situation..

Hmm...MAy be is their parents never teach them? Or they are proud with their voice?Hmmm..don't know..

The way they talk...walao...like thunder...They seem like scare people don;t know that they have mouth and they can talk..Oh please..Your bitchy friends are not daft, please,..shut your mother fucker mouth a bit or slow down la...hew...Pig means pig..really can't change the meaning..Pig has no brains...Even have also can't be function...

One more thing I really angry is..One of them like have some with the door...always bang the door like hell...Oh please la..I know you have a freaking hand,,don't close your door that hard la..You are human being right?You are not animal also,why do you need to close the door like hitting your boyfriend??

Really don't understand why..May be that's call bitches life...Who knows right??

I miss HIM

Hmm..Suddenly I feel so lonely,I know I got a lot of assignments to do BUT, I feel something not nice..I MISS HIM...MENG,I MISS U A LOT..

hmm..I'm tired,But...My brains still thinking of him..GOSH...I'm suffering myself man..

I want to move out..but the unit got some problem..So..it makes some trouble out..So desperate now..really...Now already 1a.m..I not yet take shower..CRAZY..If my mummy know this..I guess..She's going to shoot me like...SHIT..haha..hmm..Got to shower now..smelly...hehe..chao~~~

I MISS U..A LOT....MENG!!!

sad

Today..I had my English presentation,I was fine..I don't find anything problem with it..
But,after the presentation,I had my Measurement Application exam..When beginning it was fine..but...the last 2 questions messy up my mind..I totally cant calculate it...1 and half hour..huh...Gosh...I really cant do my exam well today...I scare will failed..I wish it wont...


And...as i mention last night right...I have got my waist ache..until today..it still got little pain..haih..my friend said,,may be my kidney got problem..wuwuw~~worry~~~

I wish I'll be fine~~~

pity foong~~

Today, we had our site visit..we been there by own transportation. So, on the way we go there, we all enjoyed the trip so much because the high way seems like belong to us..haha..our car all stick together..because no one knows the place..hehe..Ok,the place we been is something in Taman cheras. The place named Jalan Selasih..Before we got the right place,we got lost in that taman..We past jalan durian then past jalan ketumbal,jalan serai wangi..walao..the place all is food's name man,,haha..Finally we saw the place and we start have our with our lecturer..he told us about all construction of the building and about 1 hour, we have done everything and we decided go back. But, before that, we all change our plane to Alamanda,Putrajaya watch movie..

We watched ,and 2 of my girl's friend covered themselves with jacket from beginning of the movie til end of the movie and scream like shit from beginning til end..hahaha..then after the movie we went back..The first thing i did after arrived hostel was shower. Suddenly,I feel my waist so pain........................I cried..really pain..I don't know what happened with it..Then I online and asked my friend,He not sure and asked me rest..I took nap from 7 til 9.30..Still very pain...Hello Will,rest cant make me feel better lo..hehe

Then i called to mummy and I told her about my situation and told her that I want to move out..But she seems like doesn't allow..so..I asked again,I want her answer just Yes or NO,,that's all..but she turn turn turn and make me a bit mad..then the way i talk to her also like no manner..and she keep saying want discuss with dad...then ends up,my dad back and I told him everything and he just say: Ok la, just move if u think that they are fine and now you already 19,I know what you are thinking and for sure you think properly already before you make any decision..If you think that can help your studies(most of my classmate are there),just go for it. Dad will bank in money for you and just do what you want as long as you won't get hurt..Huh..suddenly my brains go blank..But, I feel bad too because I don't want my mummy unhappy after i move there because she's the one not really agree with staying with guy...So..this make me guilty...haih...Then I told dad, I said i scare mummy will unhappy with it and he said..don't worry...everything will be fine..b4 end the call,I apologized with mummy because I were a bit rude with her just now...(I got fever and very sick so will angry fast)

after the call it's about 11, and I only want to have my dinner..I don't have money,so..i reheat my and suddenly I feel myself so pity..(lol,,so dramatic) ..Tomorrow have final exam and presentation..hmm...worry...I never worry about my presentation,but is my exam..Only 2 question and it is about calculation about truss forces..That's complicated and I always make mistake...worry!!!!


Hmmm...My eyes so pain and tired..Cant's fully open...1/4 opened only...really tired...I guess take nap for 2 or 3 hours again and want to do my design...huh..DESIGN~~~another worry again....Haih...I really start pity myself now...

FOONG~~~GAMBATEH!!

Hppy + Tired + Sick....:(

Awww~~~ so so so tired..got fever as well..Everyday got backache..i just seem like 80 yrs old lady..
Yesterday, we had our drama presentation..Miss Zatur is our lecturer and she said that : I though the 3rd group was the best performance, but after saw you all..I don't know what should i grade..

Haha..sure she doesn't know how to grade our group..All of us (my group member) are dramatic..We can act, we can do whatever thing that we never done before..Like Chris..he said taht he never do any performance especially for drama,but..after we had practice, he learned to be so so so dramatic and keep playing the song..so..the feeling of desperate will come to him..OH ya,,,forgot..our theme is hehe...cool...

Ok, during the performance in progress, our classmate,Rozan..The only one recorder..hehe...He's the one who can hehe...He recorded every group's presentation,but..I still prefer my group..*feel proud*haha

But,,after that..I feel so tired because the day before presentation,I only slept for 2 hours..so so so tired..and ends up...now got fever...haih...I'm too weak already...No..should say that I'll weak when it is final period..yay~~~

huh..headache..can't write more...wuwu*sad*..:(

What cha Doing?? Sleep la~~~later 10 need to go site visit..cheh~~stupid ...ok..Nitez guys~~

Tired...

Ah~~~I'm so tired!!! I really don't know what's wrong with me..I slept at 10pm last night and i planned to wake up at 1a.m to do my assignments. Once my alarm rang, I feel my back is really rally super super pain!!! Then I told self wake up at 3.00a.m..when it was 3.00am, I on light so I c an wake up..However..My back still that pain, worse...I was so worry about my assignments, but my back don't allow me to do...I can't even wake up man...So..Finally,I woke up at 8.ooa.m..Damn Foong!!! You such a pig!!!I rush and wash up,and soak my shirt..Few min later,damn..I feel so dizzy man...

I don't care now even I got sick or dizzy...I still have to do my assignments..Tomorrow have final presentation,but my background haven't done yet..Actually that's for History Cultural lesson..I wonder why architecture student need to do drama presentation??weird~~~~@!@..Ok,,don't bother weird stuff..well..I really got sick now..why..why I'll got sick and I'm so sick when it is final..Not only this semester..but every semester I guess..Final is my worst day for me...really..It such a 'killer' for miss foong..I wish this all will pass quickly..I need rest!!! I WANT REST!!!


REST REST REST!!!IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TO MISS FOONG RIGHT NOW!!!


damn..before end my blog..*yawn yawn yawn yawn.....*Still keep yawning..*..TIRED MAN...I mean my mouth...hehe..keep yawning til tired....

Happy yet unhappy day..

well..I'll see you on Saturday at Shanga-ri-la at 11.00 am..*text message from miss Foong to Kevin(Korean friend)

I woke at 9.55am..damn...I don't have enough of time to go there..I had a quickly shower and just a simply make up(as long as I don't look like zombie~~)and straight go Shanga-ri-la by cab..

Once I reached there..wow..that's so cool...the hotel looks luxury..so high class..even the bellmen look so handsome and smart!!! I saw my friend already,and he suggested to have some food in the hotel.

I ordered a cup of coffee and a bowl of 'wan tan mee',he ordered nyoya laksa and a cup of tea..
That's not really nice,but still ok..ends up..totally all is....RM 150+..
what the hell....those food at mamak stall or chinese stall totally all is onlytongkat ali for his friend..He bought 10 boxes...=.="...Isn't in Korea don't have that???

He's flight was at 9pm and since we had time,so..we decided to watch movie..We been to Pavillion and he planned to take Gold Class,but,there's only for Narnia..He wanted Iron man,,so,we just took normal seat..There's another 45 min before the show is start,we decided to walking around in Pavillion..while we were shopping,he saw some cute shirt which suitable for his son and daughters..so..I were the one who helped him to choose nice clothes to his children..
He bought 3 set and all totally is..RM620.80..He paid by cash...=.=".he took out his money from his pocket and his money just seems like a booklet..I saw the cashier's expression...he seems got shock.because of a guy carry a booklet of money walking.haha...may be that's his style..haha

After watching movie, he brought me to Elements..We bought me 2 blouses and a pant..totally...RMxxxx.xx He say: I'm going Malaysia soon Foong, I wish when you're wearing this blouse you will always remember me..Hey...even no blouse or pant i still remember you Kevin..friends always in heart..

after that..we back to shanga-ri-la and collect his baggage and he took taxi go KLIA back Korea..

haizz..at the moment..i do really feel happy..but...my friend's going back to Korea already,don't know when will come Malaysia lo...haih..

wish you good luck Kevin~~

My First..all my first...

Hurmm...Actually I decided to write blog here is because of I'm lonely,I'm stressful,I don't really know what I'm doing right now...Too many assignments,all queueing up waiting for me..But,my brains is blank..It seems like nothing inside..

I really feel lonely here.. I start feeling lonely after I separated with my first ex-boyfriend.
Haizzz...Already 1 year+ we separated..But, I still feel him..I still care of him..Sometimes, when I feel lonely, I saw him online,BUT,I cant chat with him..I don't dare..*desperate*
Although I had my second ex-boyfriend, beginning we were happy..BUT, after few months, I realised that my feeling still with my first ex(even now)..

I had a very very very...super super super...farrrrrrrrrrrrrrr distance love with my 1st ex-boyfriend...We known each other from an online game(O2Jam)..after that we started sms-ing each others and always chatting in MSN.. Slowly..We got feeling with each others, we start had our 'Cyber love'(sound weird,but it's true).Few weeks later, I knew that he has to go to Australia to study.*Oh god...how can it just happen like that..* At first,my feeling is really worry and feel unfair...I found my true love but ends up he has to leave me so far...But, It's fine because for his future,I must always support him :) Before he leave Malaysia, he gift me a doll(dogie),and I gift him a wrist watch as well..

When he arrived Australia, I worry 1 thing too..that's his ex-girlfriend...:'( He told me that his ex-girlfriend go to Australia study as well...I totally speechless..But,I totally 100% trust him that he won't do anything behind of me because I trust him^^..He from Australia post a 60GB Apple Ipod for me,High School Musical original DVD,a 3G Samsung mobile phone...Really happy...not because of those expensive stuff..is because of it seems like he's right beside me..

After few months, we keep arguing because of some small matter..That's so hurt...really hurt..But,after few hours or 1 day,I'll fine..

I still remember that..26th March 2007, he sent me a phone text,written: Happy Birthday to my xiao ke ai(cutey),18 years already ,big girl already,don't always cry...I remember every word clearly..and on 29th March 2007, he sent me good night text as well..(so Sweet)...On 30th march 2007..a very very very bad day..we got a big ..Until 1st April,he doesn't care of me,he doesn't talk to me..never reply my text...That day was my 1st time learning driving...I cant concentrate driving...I keep thinking of him...after driving lesson, I hurry go back and try online talk to him..finally he text me..

me : what's wrong actually?

him: please leave me alone

me : what do u mean that leave you alone?

him: i need calm down,please leave me alone

me : OK..I'll leave u alone and calm down..when you re OK already text me OK?

him: no,I won't

me: why?????your is how long...

him: forever

*My tears keep coming out like fountain* *feel very very scare and nervous!!* I totally lost my direction!!! It seems the whole world's gone...I keep crying..none stop..

me :what do u mean now?*dare to ask*break up isn't it?
him:yes

I totally stop sms-ing him and Cry like hell there..
I cant sleep, I don't have appetite, I just like zombie field..

this feeling keep few months and even now especially when I'll lonely,bored and his everything will pop out from my brains..

But, on 22nd April 2007, I injured my knee..My uncle brought me to hospital and doctor said need to do operation...Once i heard i hugged my grand mum and said i don't want..I scare I will just die like that...I scare the people i cant see anymore is him,my family members and my best friend..

After out from operation room, I noticed that my leg covert with cement...and I ask nurse do me a favor,call my uncle,bring my mobile phone and the most important is the doll he gift to me..I hug the dogie in hospital all the time..I sms him and told him i got surgery,and he's the one accompany me by sms-ing..so,I didn't really get bored in hospital..

After discharged from hospital, he post me 10 boxes of Orel Biscuit..hmm...that's so sweet...
while I'm waiting for my leg recover,I learnt knitting and i knitted a scarf for him...^^BUT..Until now..still with me...he doesn't allow me post to him..:(

Now, we still keep in touch with each other, and I feel that not really bad be his friend..He's really nice really..Honestly to tell, now, I still love him and...I can't accept any guy..because my feeling still with him...Just wish that he's fine in Australia,and happy in Australia..Just hope he wont forget me only...he he^^

well well well....wow!! so long..isn't I'm telling rubbish?Yea,for you it might be..but for me...that's part of my ..I appreciate it a lot..really..

Once again..allow me to say:



I LOVE YOU, MENG


thanks for giving me so much fun with you although I don't know how you look like(not really important)..I appreciate you a lot^^

Wish all my friends can get a true love and wish you all good luck^^